I’m a police officer. I have been on the job for over 30 years and have worked with a few different agencies. My career has been marked by hard work, determination and a degree of success. Thanks to promotions, I now find myself in an office and have been off the road for over a decade. As a result, public interaction is far less, and the opportunities to connect and feel like you have made a difference in someone’s life, or more realistically, their day, are rare. But when they come, you have to recognize them and enjoy.
One of the great gifts of policing are the unexpected circumstances that surface from time to time. The New Jersey state trooper who stops a car only to learn the driver is a retired officer who helped deliver him when he was born. The rookie NYPD officer who meets the two retired detectives who pulled her and her mother from a burning car when she was an infant, and then is presented with one of the retired officer’s shields. The list goes on.
These experiences remind us why this is the greatest profession and help refill the tank that is often drained by the grief and sorrow we encounter. In June of this year, it was my turn.
My son’s first job
My son, Jack, started a new job training as a bar back at a local restaurant. It is hard work: replacing kegs of beer, stocking coolers, hauling ice, and handling any task needed to keep the bartenders and server staff moving. Jack had just finished his first year of college, so this was a chance to make some good tips and build his bank account for the coming year. But it was also the first job that demanded significant physical labor. I knew he would be okay, but I still had my fatherly worries.
About halfway into his shift, I received a text. It was a photo of my son working behind the bar, accompanied by the message, “Your boy hard at work.” The text was from Mike, who I have known for years. He volunteers with our police auxiliary. His brother is retired NYPD. Good guy. Good family. But our friendship is our own and does not really extend to our immediate families.
I asked Mike how he knew Jack was my son. He said he works on the restaurant’s computers and surveillance cameras and was there when Jack came in to fill out the job application. Mike also said he had put in a good word and encouraged them to hire him. I texted back, “Thanks, Mike.”
Mike then sent a second photo with the message, “Thanks for saving my son’s life.” The photo showed my son standing beside Mike’s son, MikeyD.
The call that changed everything
Almost 13 years ago, MikeyD was playing basketball when he experienced a sudden cardiac event and died. I was a sergeant working as a road supervisor in patrol. I was about 45 seconds away when the call first came over the radio. I immediately responded and was the first officer on scene.
There was crying and confusion. I saw a child lying on his back on the basketball court, with people screaming that he was not breathing. I checked for a pulse and found none. I radioed dispatch, asked for backup and began CPR. The second officer on scene was Brian, one of my most trusted officers. He ran over and immediately began setting up the AED, which I did not have with me.
That call started a long chain of responders and skilled medical professionals, world-class medical care and blessings from God. MikeyD had died and was brought back. He was not supposed to talk or walk again. But through God’s great grace, he regained those abilities and today works at the hospital helping kids with disabilities. Miracles are real.
A full circle connection
The fact that my son was able to meet the boy at the center of a pivotal call in my career moved me to tears. It was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had, and now my son was standing next to him.
At the time, my son was too young to understand the nature of the call since he was only seven years old. He just knew that daddy had gone on a call where he helped a little boy. But now I was looking at a picture of my son standing next to that same child, who was living, breathing proof for my son that his father had made a difference.
Lessons learned
These lessons stay with me, shaping how I approach the job and reminding me why moments like this matter.
- Always be prepared to respond: As sergeant, I opted not to carry an AED, assuming my officers would have them. Brian’s quick use of the AED after MikeyD’s heart stopped proved critical. I should have had one but did not. I never made that mistake again.
- Value and foster your connections: Following the call, I kept in close contact with the family. I saw social media posts and stories about MikeyD’s progress, which were miraculous. But by staying connected personally, my bond with the family was stronger, and it allowed me to experience this full circle connection that began with a simple text and photo of my son.
- Remember the rewards of this profession: Policing is not just what I do, it is who I am. I believe that is true for many of us in this field. The job can exact a heavy price, sometimes the ultimate price. But it can also be deeply rewarding. For me, the rewards have far outweighed the costs. By maintaining a positive outlook, balanced with realistic expectations, you can better leverage those good experiences and refill your tank.
Closing thoughts
Most officers will tell you they got into the profession to help people. Within a few years, most realize they will not change the world. But if we are lucky, we do get to change the world for a few people along the way.
This work can take much from us, but it is truly special when we experience those rare times when it gives something back. For me, this was one of them, a full circle story I will treasure for the rest of my days.
| READ MORE FROM DEPUTY CHIEF PAUL BAILEY: Today’s performance notice is tomorrow’s leadership lesson
