Editor’s Note: In PoliceOne “First Person” essays, our Members and Columnists candidly share their own unique view of the world. This is a platform from which individual officers can share their own personal insights on issues confronting cops today, as well as opinions, observations, and advice on living life behind the thin blue line. This week’s essay comes from Deputy Beth Lavin of the King County Sheriff’s Office, who shares her thoughts and feelings just days after four Lakewood officers were murdered. Lavin was the conference director for the 2009 International Association of Women Police conference in Seattle and has been with KCSO since August 1991, currently working patrol. Previously, she served 10 years in the U.S. Army as a Staff Sergeant. Do you want to share your own perspective with other P1 Members? Send us an e-mail with your story.
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By Beth Lavin
King County Sheriff’s Office
Seattle, Washington
I’m sitting in my patrol car parked behind a fire station. This is now were I drink my coffee, finish my paperwork. I feel like I’m floating, not really here, but I can’t do that, I need to stay focused, frosty, warrior, aware, code orange.
It almost feels like those dreams that most cops have, firing rubber bullets at the bad guy, running after the bad guy, but you’re really not moving. How can I describe what I’ve been feeling for the past month, now that five police officers were ambushed and assassinated? What are my other brothers and sisters in law enforcement feeling? We ask the question, now what?
The way we do business will forever change, but I keep asking myself, “Where’s the new playbook for law enforcement professionals? What are the rules now? What does the public expect of us now?”
Yesterday, I went into my local Starbucks to get a cup of coffee. This is where I used to meet my partners to sit and chat, but no way will I do that now. A man came up to me. He put his hand out to me and said, “Thank you for what you do.” He then started sobbing, like he almost wanted to give me a hug. The stoic me patted him on the back to console him. How ironic that I’m comforting him when it should be me being comforted.
Once the funeral is over, it’ll be back to the same: no support from our community. I’m not expecting a pat on the back saying thank you all the time — I knew getting into this career that it’s a thankless job. I’m asking why our public seems to always agree that the first budget cuts should be public safety and first responders. In today’s world I just don’t understand the priorities in our government. I don’t want to get off track and get into the politics of this, because all the money in the world wouldn’t have saved the four Lakewood Police Officers that fateful day, or Officer Brenton with Seattle P.D.
I’ve seen so many comments on different blogs pointing fingers at all the people involved with Clemmons and how they all failed at keeping this piece of garbage in prison. Yes, there were many failures and it’s our criminal justice system all over the United States that has failed us in one way or another, not just Arkansas or Washington State. There are so many problems and dysfunctions, where do you start?
We as law enforcement can’t start the change. It has to be the citizens of this country that take a stand, call their elected official and say, “Change these laws!”
I’m so sick and tired of the “politically correct attitude.” This isn’t a race or gender issue, this is making sure the system demands that criminals be responsible for there actions. If they are given a 35-year sentence, then they should serve the sentence. Let them be rehabilitated while still in prison. Heck, prisoners get health care, meals, and a warm place to sleep while law-abiding citizens are struggling to put food on the table, pay their bills and not lose their home.
What’s wrong with this picture?
I will not lose my focus. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a police officer. It’s in my heart and my soul. It’s what I live for. I couldn’t think of doing anything else. I’m sure most of my brother’s and sisters in law enforcement feel the same way. Even through all the ups and downs during my 19 years with my department, I’m passionate about keeping my community safe.
Hmmm, I guess the first page of my playbook will have to begin with that last paragraph.
