14 things that aren’t normal, until you raise a ‘cop kid’

The thing about raising kids who are born into a law enforcement family is that they never know any different.

October 14, 2016 04:52 AM •

By Melissa Littles

With LEO kids, there are certain behaviors and expectations that become a huge part of who they are as little humans. Many times, it’s easy to find the humor in the LEO kid’s thinking ways. Other times you are left with some “‘splaining to do” with teachers, neighbors and even friends. And, on occasion, these little beings can break your heart.

1) They like to play crime fighter, and sometimes it gets a little intense.

It’s all fun and games until they arm crank little Billy. It typically starts as sibling fun. You’re making dinner one night and your LEO walks in from shift and picks up a quick game of cops and robbers with the little ones. The cuteness factor goes into overdrive as your big, strong LEO inevitably ends up face down, with a two and four-year-old screaming “Get on the ground now! Hands behind your back! Stop resisting!” You grab your phone quick to snap a memory of this sweet innocence.

Six months later the school calls with the news that your kindergartner arm cranked Little Billy on the playground for “Grand Theft Swing,” and promptly delivered the “suspect” to the playground monitor while yelling, “Nothing to see here, move along people,” to all the other kids. This same scenario will tend to play out quite a few times before your LEO kid remembers to keep his/her crime fighting skills on the homefront. Although, you’ll learn they can still point out a “bad kid” in a crowd of strangers for years to come.

2) They begin every game of Hot Wheels by singing the theme song to COPS.

And you can bet there’ll be a PIT maneuver in there somewhere.

3) They may play with Barbie, but the scenarios are more complicated.

Ken better not put his hands on Barbie, Barbie’s dad is Deputy Sheriff, and you will not mess with his little girl.

Barbie is also not interested in becoming a model, dentist, or veterinarian. No, in many LEO homes Barbie has every intention of learning how to “shoot like a girl.”

4) Their concept of dinner might be a little non-traditional.

There’s nothing uncommon about your children asking you if they can have dinner in a parking lot at midnight, and there’s nothing uncommon about obliging.

5) They learn to love Chick-fil-A.

At an early age, they understand the meaning of eating at places that back the blue.

6) Even when playing sports, their vocabulary is LEO-inspired.

Things You'd Never Expect to be Normal Until You Raise a Cop Kid. cop talk during sports

(Photo/ Flickr.com)

It’s perfectly normal for your sports age children to say things like “He stole the ball...like a felon.”

7) Hide and seek will always involve invisible weapons.

Things You'd Never Expect to be Normal Until You Raise a Cop Kid. hide and seek guns

(Photo/flickr.com)

And they’ll use strategies like “pieing the corner,” as you know you can’t trust something you can’t see.

8) You’ll periodically catch your child commenting on worldwide events...like a cop.

Such as the time my son said, “Well, if you kept your finger off the bang-bang switch there wouldn’t be a problem!” or… “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” It’s about this time you realize they are a different breed.

9) It’s a given to hear your cop kids ask what day Christmas or other set date holiday will be celebrated this year.

For a cop’s kid, a holiday is just a day on a calendar and has nothing to do with their LEO parent’s shift schedule.

10) They do their own background checks.

LEO kids will include the phrase “His parents have never been to jail, I asked,” when inquiring if they can have a play date with Johnnie from school. Likewise, LEO kids learn quickly to get last names when discussing any potential friend with their parents.

11) LEO kids will use ten-codes and other police codes to describe everyday life occurrences.

Parent: “How many times do I have to say clean your room?!”
LEO Kid: “10-4”
LEO Kid (to sibling): “Let’s clean before she goes 5150 on us.”

12) Teenage LEO kids learn real quick that there are no special favors for being a cop kid

If anything, their life is much worse on the “kids just being kids” scale. If a cop kid isn’t where they are supposed to be, the LEO parent knows within five minutes from another LEO who spotted them. If an LEO kid gets caught speeding – forget about it. Every LEO on every shift has the make and model of an LEO kid’s car and is under a BOLO for any infractions. And for the potential suitors of the LEO daughter – God help you all. You’ll be introduced to the LEO parent in a memorable way, there’s no doubt.

13) Most LEO kids grow up fiercely protective of their LEO parent

They will defend their LEO parent and the blue family to those who cry “PIGS” and other hate-filled mantras against all officers. They grow up understanding loyalty and brotherhood and sisterhood. They full know what it means to have someone’s back.

14) And sadly, they’ll ask that heartbreaking question.

It never seems to fail, at some point in the life of the LEO child they will ask, “Will Mommy/Daddy get shot and killed?”

It is in those moments that you look at all the other “abnormal normal” truths of the LEO child, and put it all into perspective. LEO kids – they truly are a different breed.

Entertainment Fitness & Health Uniform Stories

Uniform Stories Staff

Uniform Stories features a variety of contributors. These sources are experts and educators within their profession. Uniform Stories covers an array of subjects like field stories, entertaining anecdotes, and expert opinions.