I’m closing in on nine years on the motor. I’ve spent over half of my law enforcement career on two wheels. I am still amazed when the department sends me a check twice a month. They pay me to ride a motorcycle and write tickets...two of my very favorite things.
There is, however, a consequence to writing so many tickets: traffic court.
I recently created a Traffic Court Testimony Template for my fellow LEOs (especially you beat guys...from what I understand, traffic court scares the shit out of you). I’ve testified in traffic court over 1,000 times and have thousands (if not tens of thousands) of citations. The point is, I know whereof I speak when it comes to testimony.
But this post isn’t about tactics for testifying in court. If you’re looking for something along those lines, check out this post on my blog. No, this post is about one of the funnier experiences I’ve had in traffic court. Believe me when I tell you damn near every time one goes to traffic court, there are stories to be told. This one happened to me.
Before I tell you the story, though, you have to keep something in mind. The #1 reason I hear for people’s reasons for going to court is they just “hope the cop doesn’t show up”. Now, that’s a possibility, but it’s scant at best.
See, we are required by our departments to go (at least where I am). So, unless I’m sick or in some kind of last minute training, the odds are significantly against you...because I’ll be there.
Occasionally, I have a very specific and amusing concept of what justice means. One of the things I love about traffic is the immediacy of the consequence for one’s actions. Most folks realize they did something they weren’t supposed to do and they simply pay the freight for their mistake. Some follow the aforementioned “I hope the cop doesn’t show” method.
And then there are my favorites. The “I’m going to beat the cop in court” believers. They are adorable. And this, my friends, is where our story begins.
I cited a gentleman a number of years ago for some sign violation, speeding, or some such tomfoolery. The violation is but a footnote.
When the case was called, I saw the man stand up and begin his journey to the front of the court. And it was indeed a journey because he was carrying more shit with him than I’d ever seen in court. This guy had drawings, reams of paper, poster boards, highlighters...he came loaded for bear.
You could feel his anxiety radiating off of him. He was ready for a fight!
So, what did I do?
Well, since the officer goes first, I simply said, “Good morning, Your Honor. I’d like to dismiss this case in the interest of justice.”
The defendant’s face went white and he started to stammer as he looked down at what must have taken him a multitude of hours to put together. The judge looked at him and said, “Any objections?”
The poor guy wanted his day in court so very bad, but he realized that a dismissal meant a “victory” for him. He was able to get out, “No objection” before an angsty tear escaped his eye.
I turned around to walk out of the courtroom and saw my fellow LEOs smirking and nodding as if to say, “MC, you may have dismissed that case, but you totally just won.”
I’m gonna call that one justice served, my friends.
