There is good and bad in everything in this world, including the differences between men and women in the police culture. Some things are just a part of who we are, whether it be our physical attributes or personality traits. Our brains and bodies work in different ways.
Below are some of the unique things you’ll find in a female officer that set us apart from the men:
1. They think we will fall for their BS.
Isn’t it a common denominator within public opinion that women are the soft-hearted ones? When we roll up on a scene, citizens often gravitate to us gals because they think we will fall for their malarkey and make a decision in their favor with nurturing kindness. This often leads to confessions or admissions. While it is true we will listen to their hokey pokey with poker face and nods, we might also be the ones who cuff and stuff them.
2. We have excellent driving skills.
Our natural mothering abilities– which include bionic hearing, x-ray night vision, and super sight powers in peripheral observation–help us perform with extreme mastery at the wheel. Countless times I have ridden with a male partner or trained a male rookie and there is just something about their stop and jerk driving that kills the moment. Oh, I know very well and good how that jerky driving talent came about from the male species. However, ahem…boys…you need some FINESSE. Learn from us girls. We can also drive super-fast yet maneuver with ease and smoothness into stops as well as float around those corners. It prevents transport puking incidents and piled up g-rides.
3. We are sly when we throw our peers under the bus.
The odd folks cling to us girls like bees on honey because they think we are their personal saviors. You know the ones. They are the unstable frequent flyers. It didn’t take me long to learn how to master “resting bitch face” so I looked unapproachable to these annoying creatures on “those one kind of calls.” I can stroll into a room without saying a word and they pick my partner. I’m really not grumpy, it’s just survival of the fittest out here.
4. We have to pee. Like. All. The. Time.
Let’s face it. Boys can use bottles, but that doesn’t work for women. First, that is “ew gross” and second, it is not physically convenient and is likely impossible for us. Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. We have to have a facility or nice landscaping to do our business. As a result, lengthy surveillance stints can create an exit plan problem. This leads to the possibility of blowing our cover.
5. Our mood can be, well, unpredictable.
For female cops, sorcery sometimes overpowers our senses, and we may choose your fate based upon how the moon aligns and what mood we are in during that time of the month. It’s called the PMS crap shoot. It is no secret that you take your chances when you cross a woman on her period. Sometimes you just go with the flow.
We all embrace our profession and conduct our duties to the best of our abilities, regardless of our differences. But, hey, we have to acknowledge there are some. On any given day in the cop world, I would take the worst along with the best. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
