By Richard Cowen
nj.com
FREEHOLD TOWNSHIP, N.J. — A bouquet of flowers, a painting of butterflies and walls that are painted a soft, pastel blue isn’t the kind of decor one expects to see at the local police station.
A new room at the Freehold Township Police Department isn’t the typical, cold government space. It’s been redesigned as a warm and inviting, a sanctuary where victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse can take refuge.
The sanctuary was built by the Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation, the non-profit started by the parents of the Freehold woman who was murdered by her abusive boyfriend in 2019.
“Often, when victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse go to the police station, they’re put in rooms that are very cold, and not inviting,” said Ed Parze , the father of the slain woman who heads the foundation. “It’s very intimidating, and adds to a sense that there’s too much authority.”
“It used to have plain walls and plain carpeting. Now, it’s much more warm and comforting,” said Freehold Lt. Det. Joseph Winowski. “It’s a nice transition from a cold, uninviting room.”
Instead of a metal desk and ergonomic chairs, there’s a plush recliner, carpets and soft lighting. There’s a refrigerator and a tray of snacks, some toys for the kids, and a drawer with a change of clothes.
Freehold police opened the room on March 24 . Dubbed Stephanie’s Sanctuary, it’s the first comfort room for domestic violence victims built with foundation money. But it won’t be the last.
Parze said the next Stephanie’s Sanctuary is scheduled to open later this month at the Manalapan Police Department. Sayreville is next after that, to be followed by Old Bridge and Wall, he said.
“We’re trying to help as many people as possible and keep Stephanie’s legacy alive,” he said. To raise money, the foundation is holding a golf outing at the Knob Hill Golf Club in Manalapan on June 24 .
Domestic violence happens everywhere and in every demographic and it’s on the rise in New Jersey . According to NJ State Police crime statistics, there were 31,514 domestic violence assaults in 2023, up 4 percent from the prior year. Domestic violence resulted in 57 murders in 2023, up from 50 the year before.
Getting help can be the difference between life and death. But victims are often afraid to come forward.
Stephanie Parze was an aspiring makeup artist just shy of her 26th birthday when she met John Ozbilgen through an online dating service in August 2019 . Ozbilgen, a 29-year-old financial advisor was intelligent and charming, but police would soon uncover a dark past.
Parze was living with her grandmother in Freehold when she disappeared on the night before Halloween .
The Monmouth County Prosecutor’s Office named Ozbilgen a “person of interest” immediately following the disappearance. Ozbilgen had already killed himself by the time Parze’s remains were found in Old Bridge 87 days after he disappearance.
Investigators learned that a month before Parze disappeared, a woman filed an anonymous complaint with the Freehold Township police claiming that Ozbilgen had hit her. Investigators believed that woman must have been Parze.
Stephanie’s father also recalled seeing bruises on his daughter around the same time. And investigators turned up a complaint from another woman, filed the previous June, accusing Ozbligen of violence.
Monmouth County investigators seized Ozbilgen’s phone, and discovered 10 angry texts he sent to Stephanie on the night she disappeared. They also found images of child pornography, wnich led to his arrest on Nov. 8 .
Released from jail following a first appearance on the child porn charge, Ozbilgen returned to his parents’ house in Freehold and killed himself on Nov. 21 .
Monmouth County Prosecutor Christopher J. Gramiccioni later said Ozbilgen left a suicide note in which he admitted killing Parze, but denied the child porn charge. “He had had enough and he could not do life in prison,” Gramiccioni said. “He also admitted that what his parents would hear in the news was true except for charges of child pornography.”
Ozbilgen didn’t reveal where he dumped the body. Over the next two months, hundreds of volunteers joined the Parze family to conduct more than 80 searches.
Finally, on Jan. 26, 2020, two teenage boys discovered the woman’s remains in wooded area off Route 9 in Old Bridge . At a news conference, Ed Parze thanked all the people who had helped find his daughter. He called them “Stephanie’s Angels” and vowed to start a foundation to help battered women.
Five years later, the foundation has grown to support 19 initiatives around domestic violence, including self-defense classes for women and the sanctuary movement, Parze said.
Freehold Det. William Ketelaar worked the Parze investigation. Now Stephanie’s picture hangs on the wall in the sanctuary.
“I find that picture really inspiring,” he said. “You know, life is measured by so many successes, wealth, friends, family. But I think legacy is immeasurable. And that room is just a small piece of Stephanie’s legacy. If she can help one person, then I think she can help many.”
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Richard Cowen may be reached at rcowen@njadvancemedia.com.
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