By Jeremy D.O. Rebmann
My team was flashbangs and armor. Steaks and beer. Beards and tattoos. We were the kind of team that would lay down our lives for each other, for a hostage, for a stranger in need. There was no team like ours.
After more than 20 years of living that life, stepping away was harder than I expected. Leaving the team was like breaking up with someone I still loved. The love was real, but we weren’t going to be together forever. And when it was gone, I realized something was missing. The joy wasn’t there.
Finding yourself outside the team
I loved my church family, but I struggled to connect sometimes. Most of the men weren’t wired like me — not many were athletic, outdoorsy or drawn to the things that had shaped me. Even though I was surrounded by good people, I often felt alone.
Discovering a new place to serve
That began to change when I started volunteering. I stocked shelves at the county food pantry. I helped build bunk beds for foster kids. I sweated beside retirees, students, church friends and strangers — none of them warriors, but all of them servants.
In those moments, I realized something: I hadn’t lost my tribe. I had gained another one.
Sure, I still miss the old tribe. I still train weekly. I still shoot the quals, PT and keep my weapons clean. That part of me didn’t vanish. And that tribe hasn’t vanished either—we just see each other less now. But the desire to serve? That didn’t fade.
The warrior spirit lives on
My new tribe doesn’t clear houses or conduct high-risk warrants. But they love fiercely and give selflessly. They show up to feed the hungry, clothe the poor and give hope where it’s needed most. And as I worked alongside them, I saw the same warrior spirit — the willingness to sacrifice for others — still alive here, too.
Two tribes, one calling
So no, this tribe doesn’t replace the last. It stands beside it. I still belong to both.
And if you’re feeling the ache of that old team being gone — if you’re wondering where you belong now — know this: You haven’t been kicked out of the tribe. You’ve been promoted.
Keep in touch with your old team. No one can replace them. Find your new team. Serve with them. Sweat with them. Laugh with them.
And when you go home, hit the gym. Go shoot the qual. Hang up your gun belt, but keep it handy. You’ve got two tribes that need you now.
Tactical takeaway
Your tribe doesn’t disappear after the badge — it expands. Keep your old team close, but build a new one through service, sacrifice and shared purpose.
How have you found a new sense of tribe after leaving your team? Share below.
About the author
Jeremy D.O. Rebmann is a recently retired FBI SWAT sniper with over 25 years of law enforcement service. He is the author of “Send Me: Chronicles of an FBI Sniper,” a memoir exploring the operational intensity and personal toll of tactical service. He currently volunteers in his community and continues to write about leadership, mental health, and life after the badge.
