P1 First Person: If it were easy, anyone could do it

By Sgt. Ti Goetz
Hawthorne (Calif.) Police Department

If I had to pick one hero of my youth — aside from my father — it would have to be the Duke. I grew up on John Wayne. In fact, his portrayal of that tough as nails Sgt. John Stryker in “Sands of Iwo Jima” is what inspired me to join the Marine Corps on the very day I turned seventeen. I still remember lying on the living room floor as a child, watching mesmerized as Sgt. Striker barked out his orders which, of course, were always quickly obeyed. I soaked up Hollywood’s heroic depiction of how he dealt with the difficult decisions he typically faced, always making the right call for the right reasons with a certainty of command that simply screamed, “Leadership!”

In that movie land world of make believe, he always did the right thing no matter what the personal costs. Yes indeed, whether he was struggling up Mount Suribachi or facing down overwhelming odds in “The Alamo,” you never caught the Duke slipping. He was always in the front, leading by example, shrugging off fear and doubt, shouldering more than his share of the burdens, shoring up the defenses, encouraging the weak or disheartened, meting out justice, towing the line, standing up for the those unable to stand up for themselves, and just plain being one hell of a guy!

Yep, the mission came first for the Duke no matter what the odds were or how dangerous the situation might be. He shrugged off pain and suffering, hostility or dislike, maintained his pride and dignity in the face of treachery and deceit, and always, always, got the job done. In my young and impressionable mind, he was what leadership was all about and my most fervent hope was that someday I would command the same respect the Duke did when leading men.

Well, it’s been more than 30 years since that living room floor and a lot has happened since then. I grew up for one, spent ten and a half years as one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children, another 16 (and counting) in law enforcement, and somehow, despite my many faults, made it to Sergeant in both organizations.

Though I left the Marines quite a few years ago, my time there left me with a lasting pride in an incredible organization, memories to last a lifetime, and a desire to learn as much as I could about leadership. And while I did confirm early on that John Wayne was in fact, widely loved and respected in the Corps, I also learned that leading men was far harder than he made it seem in the movies. The Marine Corps, never shy about instructing its people, did its best to teach me in their own special time honored method how to lead men. It was oddly reassuring that whatever leadership school they sent me too or military operation I took part in, most of the time my life seemingly revolved around the ability to tolerate an inordinate amount of pain and suffering and/or mental stress while continuing to function in some type of competent, coherent manner. Maybe, in the end, at least in the military, that is the core requirement of leadership.

One of my all time favorite leadership institutions — Ranger School — holds a special place in my heart for topping the scales of pain and suffering. In my book, you just can’t truly enjoy life until you’ve humped through the mountains, deserts, forests, and swamps of America for eight weeks straight carrying a rucksack that seems to weigh as much as you do, while living on one MRE a day and a blissful two or three hours of sleep a night.

That your fatigue- and starvation-addled brain is forced to plan, organize, and lead complex small unit operations at the same time only adds to the thrill. That you are continuously quizzed, scrutinized, screamed at, or ruthlessly prodded by the loveable Ranger cadre known as “Black Hats” only makes the experience all the more special. Those fine gents often made a truly miserable experience into an epic one. That you were also attacked at any hour of the day and night by “aggressors,” forced to fight your way out, through, or over the attack, then forced to explain your reasoning, justify your decisions, or point out your exact position on a map to an extremely skeptical Black Hat only adds to the fun. Until you’ve stood in a lightning storm from hell at three in the morning, in the darkest mountains of the Tennessee Valley Divide, trying to point out your exact position on a map you can hardly see due to the pouring rain, you just can’t really say you’ve had a good time.

For an organization involved in the ultimate stress inducer of throwing little pieces of lead at people who are throwing it back, I realized early on that this type of training might prove pretty useful someday. In my first introduction to the lead throwing business, which we now fondly call the “first” Gulf War, I found myself on more than one occasion grateful to Uncle Sam, and even those merciless Black Hats, for the training and experiences they had insisted I partake in over the years.

Having spent a considerable part of my young life being indoctrinated into this type of adventurous lifestyle, it’s no small wonder that I continued to gravitate towards the action arena in law enforcement. I have spent eleven incredible years on SWAT and even managed to amaze everyone who knew me by eventually making it to the position of Team Leader.

In both organizations, I’ve had to make a lot of hard decisions, as has anyone who has ever accepted the mantle of leadership in such professions can attest too. But, unlike the Duke, the tough decisions I made were rarely what I would consider “easy” and almost always had a price to pay or left a mark, most of them on the inside. As a Team Leader on a part time SWAT team, I often found myself struggling through what seemed like a never ending chain of problems and issues, most of them more “people” issues than “tactical” issues. After spending more nights than I can count wondering if I had done the right thing, handled the situation in the correct manner, made the right decision, or demonstrated the proper leadership values, I’ve come to a conclusion, “Life ain’t like the movies!”

Yup, that’s my life’s epiphany, “Life ain’t like the movies!” Go ahead, you can quote me if you like, write it down on a piece of paper, use it in your own briefings, put it on your wall, whatever.

It is true though, life is not like the movies and the hard decisions faced by leaders in jobs such are ours are rarely easy. You would think that this less than ground shattering observation would be obvious to all……and it probably is, but to tell the truth, I’m not so sure we do much beyond vaguely acknowledging that fact. Sure, generally speaking we urge people in our business to “do the right thing” or “make the sound decision.” We go to command courses and leadership courses that talk about tactical decision making and the mechanics of handling call outs, barricades, hostage situations, and a bevy of other potential problems. We discuss, at length, the steps to handling these situations but for the most part, these courses really don’t go into the nuts and bolts of how you make the hard decisions or how you can “be” that kind of leader that we all want to be.

As SWAT dogs we all want — and need — to be the steely eyed professionals, as certain in our decisions, tactical abilities, and leadership skills as the Duke was when he was leading his frightened men up that hill or defending the gates of the Alamo. In our law enforcement world, especially the SWAT world, we would rather die than show any type of doubt, uncertainty, or indecision. These less than desirable traits are commonly referred to as “weaknesses” in our line of work. In fact, part of that aura of leadership, part of that “command presence,” is, in fact, not showing those very traits/weaknesses in front of anyone, even if you do feel them.

Yet, the problem remains: how do you deal with those “weaknesses” if you do feel them, as well as the internal ramifications of the decisions you make?

If someone out there is wondering what the hell I’m talking about, then I’m guessing that they must never have made an unpopular or hard decision. If they had, they would know that those decisions are, well, unpopular and/or hard! And unpopular and/or hard decisions, in real life, are usually met with an unpopular response. This can be a tough thing to deal with as an individual and can test the mettle of even the most seasoned leader, much less the new team leader trying to do the “right thing.” When you are the “Leader” of any organization or team, including SWAT, with the mantle of leadership comes the burden of responsibility. And let me tell you, sometimes it can be a real burden with a capital “B.” Finding yourself responsible for everything that happens on your team, good or bad, can be a real eye opener for those not psychologically prepared for such a mental load.

What that translates to is that you not only make the big decisions during real world operations, where lives may hang in the balance, you also enjoy the pleasure of making more mundane, but sometimes no less stressful decisions regarding a whole host of topics related to your team’s health.

What do you do or say when a team member comes to training late? Does it matter if it’s one minute late or twenty minutes late? What if it’s a senior guy with more time on the team than you? Do you call him on it on the spot or do you wait for a more opportune time? Do you reason with him, lay down the law, or just ignore the issue since it was only 30 seconds, one minute, five minutes...?

It’s 100 degrees out and you’re training in the middle of some place that looks like the back side of the moon. The guys want to take off their shirts and wear just t-shirts under their tac vests or they want to leave off their helmets, goggles, gloves, whatever. It’s hotter than hell, they all want to do it, and you’re miserable also. Do you care? Does it matter? What do you say?

How about the guy who’s tactically sound but doesn’t have the best attitude on the team? He doesn’t say or do anything that would pin him into a corner or allow you to take official action — but he says and does just enough to irritate the crap out of you, undermine the team or your efforts, question your authority, or call into question your leadership skills. Do you confront him, ignore him, reason with him, toss him off the team (if allowed), begin to doubt yourself, run screaming into the woods?

You get my point. If you have ever faced these issues, or a whole host of similar issues, you can relate to the frustration, confusion, uncertainty, and/or doubt that may reverberate through your mind as you ponder what to do or what decision to make.

Whether you choose to deal with these types of issues or not, and I certainly hope you do, the responsibilities of enforcing team/department rules and regulations and codes of conduct fall to you as the team leader. In addition, dealing with the egos, idiosyncrasies, and politics of your department, your men, or your own, are unfortunately, also a part of your duties.

To be honest, I would say that dealing with these mundane, or not so mundane, issues can be as trying and mind numbingly wearing as any real world callout you might find yourself in. However, unlike a call out or a barricade, which are generally over in a relatively short time frame, these “other” issues often stay with you for days, weeks, months, even years at a time. If not dealt with, they have the ability to wear you down in a way that true risk and actual danger could never do.

So how do we prepare our future SWAT leaders, or any leader for that matter, to deal with these more than demanding mental aspects of leadership? Well, that is a damned good question and I wish I had the answers that would clear it right up. Unfortunately, I will be the first to admit I don’t.

I’ve screwed the pooch so many times in the decision-making arena that telling you what I’ve done right or wrong in various areas would take many more pages than I have the time, or will, to write down here.

What I can share with you, however, is the few tidbits of knowledge I have found along the road of life that I think you might find useful. Most of these tidbits I picked up from men much better than myself at the leadership game, and usually only after I had made a mess of things on my own.

What I will tell you is this: Nobody — including myself — wants to be disliked. It’s almost a fundamental desire of man, and it’s one you will just have to get over! As mentioned earlier, hard decisions are just that: hard. They are hard because they typically involve conflict. And conflict can and often does, result in hurt feelings, anger, resentment, and hostility, especially if not handled well. Being the recipient of those feelings often causes leaders to get gun shy when it comes to dealing with their officers, their superiors, or their peers.

Despite the fact that we as SWAT/law enforcement officers deal with conflict on a daily basis, that doesn’t mean we enjoy dealing with it when it comes to our own personal/professional relationships. In fact, it’s been my experience that it is often our desire to avoid conflict that actually leads to more conflict. All of the “minor” issues mentioned above, if left unchecked, can fester over time into large problems. Like a disease, small problems will germinate and eventually grow to encompass your entire team. Trust me, those irritating little problems you optimistically hope will “go away on their own” almost certainly will not.

It’s been my experience that the little problems of team life need to be addressed immediately, in as fair and impartial manner as you can possibly muster, and without regard for how your personal standing will be affected by your actions. Making tough decisions and enforcing rules, regulations, and team standards consistently may not make you the most popular guy in the station, or on the team, but it is the key to gaining the respect of those you lead and maintaining a healthy team. It is a given that we all want to be liked and respected by our peers and those we lead. However, if you have to choose only one of the two, and sometimes/oftentimes, you do…choose being respected! If being loved by all is really that important to you, you probably should have become a fireman.

Somebody smart once said, “If everyone likes you, you’re probably not leading.” It’s also been said many time s in the past but it bears repeating due to its long lasting truthfulness, “Leadership is a lonely business.” Another one of those things you’re just going to have to learn to live with. My suggestion for dealing with that, other than getting a dog, is to make sure you have a life outside of law enforcement. If your social circle is your job, or your SWAT brethren, you are probably going to have problems making those tough decisions. Be friendly, be open, be honest, be caring, be there for your people, but never forget that you are also their boss.

I can’t speak for all the SWAT dogs out there but I have found that being consistent is one of the best tools I can recommend for long term team health. Being consistent in standards and conduct lends reassurance to your men and is the base from which your team should operate.

If you’re steady in demeanor, conduct, accountability, and professionalism, your team will know what is expected of them as well as what will be tolerated and what will not. Standards are part and parcel of any organization, especially SWAT, and they are there for a very good reason. Once you have decided on your team standards, never give them up for anyone or anything other than good common sense. If you can get your team to “buy in” and adopt those standards as “theirs” you are well on your way to easing your issues, at least in that particular area.

However trite it may sound, leadership is, in part, a sales job. You have to sell your people on what you are doing or what you want the team to be doing. You can just order them of course but unless they understand the reasoning, you may find yourself frustrated by their “grudging,” rather than enthusiastic, compliance. Picking out a few good “themes” such as “Train as you fight — fight as you train” or “Independent thinking but only towards the overall success of the team” can help hammer home the philosophy that you want to instill in your men. Whatever your theme is, don’t hope to say it once and have it stick. It’s a theme or mantra because you constantly repeat it at every opportunity. That is how it becomes part of the team philosophy. You will know you are successful and it is starting to stick when you hear your men repeating or sharing it with others.

One valuable technique to assist you in the leading of a team is to “grow” your future leaders.

However heroic John Wayne might have been, he couldn’t really do everything alone. He had to have followers and sub- leaders who backed him up and helped sell his philosophy and/or brand of leadership. In any organization, you never know when “your day” is coming. Promotion, demotion, accident, injury, lateral transfer, family crisis, or you just pissed off the wrong person. Any of these and many other reasons have, may, or will cut short what you thought would be a long and glorious career as an “operator.” If you truly care about your team, you will have started long ago in “growing” your replacement. Find the person or persons on your team that best exemplify the leadership traits you are looking for, then start mentoring, coaching, and explaining what you do and WHY you do it. Help him/them to understand your overall philosophy and start cultivating him/them to take your job. Everyone wants to think they are irreplaceable, but the cold hard reality is that life will go on without you, in fact, it will go on without even a blink in most situations. Do your part to make that transition as seamless as possible. When your time does come, your greatest legacy should be the continuation of a well run, competently led, and highly trained machine.

My final bit of wisdom, often heard from many fine leaders but worth repeating again; You have to lead from the front! Never tell your men to do anything that you have not done, are not doing, or would not do again if need be. Does that mean you have to be the best at everything? No, of course not! Unless you happen to be blessed with perfect genes, there will undoubtedly be individuals on your team that are faster, better shots, or even better at some basic tactics than you are. You may not be the best, though if you are that is great, but you do have to be solid across the board. It is certain death for your reputation if you cannot do what you expect your men to do. I have seen, on too many occasions, so called leaders who cannot or will not do what they stridently demand that their men do.

Leadership comes about — and is best demonstrated — through personal example. Be the first to put on and wear ALL your gear and be the last to take it off, run the obstacle course with maximum effort every time, shoot alongside your men when they do and encourage competition, make sure you train right alongside them during training days and are not just a talking head. Pick up the brass, help pack and unpack the gear, make sure your men eat and drink before you, and never put yourself in a position where anyone can question your commitment or adherence to standards.

I wish I could tell you that if you do these things everything will work out peachy keen, but I can’t. What works for me sometimes may not work for you. Leadership, especially on SWAT teams, is something that will always be a constant challenge. Just when you think you have it licked, something new will crop up that will challenge your abilities. It’s kind of what makes SWAT so much fun, and so much work.

Unfortunately, my time on SWAT recently came to a close. As I leave for the hallowed halls of administration I cannot help but look back on some of the best years of my professional life with a critical eye. Did I make a difference? Did I do the “right thing?” Was I the kind of leader my father and the Duke would have approved of and been proud of? I hope so but I’m not sure.

In the end, no matter how good or bad my decisions, I’ve always tried to live up to those same values the Duke, and my father, espoused in my youth. I have to believe the decisions I did make were the right and honorable ones. That will have to suffice as far as making peace with myself. Overall, I still think the Duke had it right for the most part. Of course, the difference is, he was in the movies and I’m not.

Sgt. Ti Goetz has been a police officer for the city of Hawthorne for more than 16 years. Goetz has a Bachelors Degree in Law and Society with a Criminal Justice emphasis from UC Santa Barbara, and a Masters Degree in Negotiations and Conflict Management from Cal State Dominquez Hills. Goetz spent 11 years on the SWAT team with almost three as the Team Leader before leaving the team for Internal Affairs in January 2010.