Editor’s note: This article presents a survivor’s perspective on domestic violence response and is intended to help officers consider how fear, coercion and prior abuse may affect a victim’s behavior. Officers should follow applicable law, agency policy and training when responding to and investigating domestic violence incidents.
By Dr. Mildred D. Muhammad, D.Hum.
Before my former husband became known worldwide as the D.C. Sniper, I knew him simply as my husband. Long before the headlines, investigations and national attention, I was living with domestic abuse. Law enforcement later identified me as the intended target, but my story began years before anyone recognized the danger.
I know what it means to be a victim. I know what it takes to survive.
I share my experience with law enforcement because when a pattern of abuse exists, the incident that brings officers to someone’s home is one visible part of a much longer history.
When a pattern of abuse exists, the story you’re investigating began long before dispatch received the call.
When officers respond to a domestic violence call, they have critical decisions to make, often with limited information and little time. They must assess immediate threats, determine whether a crime has occurred, identify and interview the people involved, preserve evidence and protect those in danger.
But there is something else worth considering during those first few minutes: What are you not seeing? We’re calling for protection and the compassion and empathy that have been missing throughout the abuse.
When a victim has lived with months or years of threats, intimidation, isolation or control, their response is shaped by more than what happened that day. That history provides important context for what an officer sees and hears.
Fear can look like something else
When you arrive, you’re trying to determine what happened.
What you didn’t witness is everything that happened before you knocked on the door.
Fear and coercion can affect how a victim communicates. When fear is present, a victim can hesitate before answering, minimize what happened, struggle to explain events chronologically or appear reluctant to provide information. None of those behaviors, by themselves, explain why the person is responding that way. First words matter. Instead of telling a frightened victim to “calm down,” give them room to speak: “Take your time. Tell me what happened.”
Fear is one factor officers should consider.
Fear can include concern about what happens after law enforcement leaves, retaliation, children, housing, finances, prior threats for seeking help or the alleged abuser’s reaction while speaking with you.
From an officer’s perspective, hesitation can complicate an investigation. From a victim’s perspective, speaking openly can feel dangerous.
That doesn’t mean officers should make assumptions about why someone is behaving a certain way. It means giving the person an opportunity to speak, listening carefully and considering whether fear or coercion helps explain what you’re observing.
Sometimes the information you need doesn’t come in the victim’s first answer.
Look beyond the immediate incident
When officers arrive after an assault, the physical evidence naturally demands attention. Injuries can be photographed. Damaged property can be documented. Witnesses can be interviewed.
The immediate incident also provides an opportunity to investigate whether a larger pattern exists.
Long before anyone recognized the danger in my own life, there was already a pattern of abuse. I did not experience physical violence. You don’t have to have physical scars to be a victim or survivor of domestic abuse.
Depending on the circumstances of the call and applicable agency policy, look for indicators of intimidation, isolation, financial control, surveillance, stalking, threats or other behavior intended to exert control over another person.
The question isn’t simply, “What happened tonight?” Also ask: Has this happened before? Has the behavior changed or escalated? Have threats been made? Is the victim afraid of what will happen when officers leave? Are children being affected or used as a means of control?
Those details provide context that an injury alone cannot. In my work, I distinguish domestic abuse from physical violence this way: Domestic abuse is a pattern of coercive behaviors designed to gain power, control and compliance. Physical violence can become the visible evidence of that pattern.
For years, victims of domestic abuse have been asked, “Why didn’t you leave?” or “Why did you stay?”
I challenge professionals to move away from asking, “Why did you stay?” and begin asking, “Why did you abuse?” Threats, children, finances, housing, isolation and fear can all shape the choices a victim believes are available. The responsibility for the abuse belongs with the person choosing to abuse.
Officers don’t have to solve all of those problems during one call. But recognizing these barriers can change how you understand the person standing in front of you.
Ask questions that help reveal the pattern
Victims sometimes adapt their lives around abusive behavior. What appears unusual to someone on the outside can be part of daily survival for the person experiencing it.
When appropriate to the investigation, questions about the history surrounding an incident help reveal information that isn’t immediately visible.
Consider areas such as:
- Previous incidents, including those that were never reported
- Threats against the victim, children, family members, pets or others
- Stalking, monitoring or surveillance
- Attempts to isolate the victim from family or friends
- Control over money, transportation, phones or other resources
- What has happened when the victim previously tried to leave, seek help or resist the abusive behavior
- Whether the victim believes the behavior is escalating
- What the victim fears will happen next
One particularly important area to explore is what the victim believes will happen after officers leave.
The answer can provide information that the visible evidence cannot.
Explain what happens next
For someone experiencing domestic abuse, uncertainty can add to fear.
Once you’ve completed the immediate response, explain what happens next as clearly as you can.
Procedures and available resources vary by jurisdiction and agency, but victims should understand what officers can and cannot do, what will happen with the report and what resources may be available to them.
Depending on local law, agency policy and the circumstances of the case, that may include information about victim services, protective orders, obtaining police reports and whom to contact for additional assistance.
Make sure the victim has an opportunity to ask questions.
And consider how information is provided. In some situations, leaving a business card, brochure or other material where an abuser may discover it could create additional concerns. Ask what is safe.
Most importantly, don’t promise an outcome you cannot guarantee. Be clear about what happens next and what the victim should do if the situation becomes dangerous again.
For someone living with abuse, knowing what to expect matters.
Before you leave
Before clearing a domestic violence call, consider a few questions:
- Have I documented more than the most obvious evidence?
- Is there information suggesting a history or escalation of threatening behavior?
- Do I understand what the victim is afraid will happen next?
- Is there information another responding officer or investigator would need to know?
- Does the victim understand what happens after I leave and where they can seek additional help?
I recognize the responsibility officers carry every time they answer a call for service. You may never know how your response changes the course of someone’s life.
I also know what it feels like to be the person hoping someone will recognize the danger that isn’t immediately visible.
A domestic violence call can begin with an assault, an argument or a frightened person asking for help. But when a pattern of abuse exists, what brought you to that door began long before the call to 911.
Seeing the larger picture helps you understand what happened and the risk that remains. Violence is the evidence. Abuse is the investigation. As you wrap up this call, ask yourself: Did I investigate the assault or the pattern that brought me here?
About the author
Dr. Mildred D. Muhammad, D.Hum., is an award-winning global keynote speaker, Certified Domestic Violence Advocate, member of the Maryland State Board of Victim Services, bestselling author and former spouse of John Allen Muhammad, later known as the D.C. Sniper. Law enforcement identified her as the intended target, and her lived experience has shaped more than two decades of educating law enforcement, government agencies, healthcare professionals, educators and organizations on recognizing patterns of domestic abuse and understanding how coercion, threats and violence can affect victims.
