This article is part of an ongoing series on leadership development for new law enforcement leaders. Each article addresses a specific area of leadership competency offering learning points, strategies and tips. Click here to access the entire Leadership Development Series.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand and manage your emotions, as well as respond to the emotions of others. It is considered a foundational skill of effective leadership. Through emotional quotient (EQ) testing, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as an important job requirement. Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to relieve stress in themselves and their team members, communicate more effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and resolve conflicts.
Many EI models have been proposed, but they generally center on four key traits and abilities of an emotionally intelligent leader:
- Self-awareness is the ability to clearly understand yourself — your values, wants, needs, confidence, self-respect and, most importantly, your emotions. Can you recognize emotions like anger, fear, happiness, shame and sadness, and identify what triggers them? [1] Self-awareness also includes understanding how others perceive you and how that perception affects your behavior.
- Self-management is your ability to regulate emotions and respond appropriately in stressful situations. Can you manage stress before it overwhelms your rational thinking or self-control? Can you recognize when you’re emotional and take immediate steps to shift your mindset? Seeking feedback from others can also support stronger self-awareness and emotional regulation.
- Social awareness is your ability to engage meaningfully with others, read nonverbal cues and show genuine presence. Empathy — the ability to understand another person’s emotional state and point of view — is at the core of this skill.
- Relationship management is how you use your emotional intelligence to build and sustain relationships, resolve conflict and earn trust. Strong relationships reinforce your credibility, leadership and interpersonal effectiveness.
Tips for building emotional intelligence skills
You can’t always control your emotions, but you can control how you respond when something triggers them. Emotional intelligence can be taught and learned. [2] Common methods for measuring EI include self-reporting, peer feedback and ability-based testing.
Here are some exercises and resources to help you increase self-awareness and manage your emotional intelligence before deciding whether to enroll in leadership or coaching programs.
EI questionnaires
The first thing you can do is Google “emotional intelligence questionnaires,” or follow Bradberry and Greaves book. [1] Select and answer as many items as you can. You can start with these:
- I do not become defensive when I receive criticism. (Agree, Disagree)
- I am very good at identifying my emotions.
- I sometimes find it difficult to identify others’ emotions.
- I have a hard time being open with others.
- How do you handle conflict? (Describe a situation.)
- What is my motivation for wanting to be in a leadership role?
Once you’ve completed your items, ask trusted colleagues or peers for feedback on how they perceive you in each area. Comparing their input with your own reflections can boost self-awareness through both self- and other-reporting.
Feedback exercises
A second suggestion is to search for the “Johari Window test” and copy the table of adjectives used in the exercise. Choose five or six adjectives you believe best describe you. Then give the same list to someone you trust — either a friend outside of work or a colleague — and ask them to select five or six adjectives they think best describe you. Compare and discuss your selections. Be honest about yourself and open to their feedback. Avoid becoming defensive. Then reverse roles and share your perceptions about them. This exercise builds self-awareness and supports relationship management. It’s a useful example of self- and other-reporting. For more insight, read online articles that explain the Johari Window. [3]
Stress management exercises
Another helpful exercise is meditation. Establish a routine that allows you to meditate daily. Find a quiet spot and decide whether you prefer silence or meditation music — both are widely available on platforms like YouTube. The goal is to relax and center yourself, letting go of daily concerns.
An extension of this practice is guided imagery, often done with another person, but you can also use your imagination. [4] Picture yourself on a calming journey — like a magic carpet ride to a place you find peaceful. Focus on what you see and hear during the experience. Return to the present when you’re ready.
These exercises support stress reduction, a key element of self-management. You can choose the length of time that works best for you.
Ability testing
You can always enroll in leadership training courses [5] that typically include emotional intelligence, or you can work with emotional intelligence coaches, many of whom are found online under “list of emotional intelligence coaches.” They can identify your strengths and areas for growth and chart a course of action for you.
Keep in mind that your EI impacts your credibility as a leader. Your goal is to maintain balance, keep your cool under fire, and build trust within your work team. Give others a reason to want to follow you.
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Suggested reading
1. Bradberry T, Greaves J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. San Diego, CA: TalentSmart.
2. Goleman D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam.
3. Luft J, Ingham H. (1955). The Johari window, a graphic model of interpersonal awareness. Proceedings of the Western Training Laboratory in Group Development. Los Angeles, University of California, Los Angeles.
4. Stull, J. B. (1977). Peak experiences through guided imagery, The Group Leader’s Workshop, Vol. 23, December, pp. 7-9.
5. Stull JB, Stull TJ. (2024) How to host a leadership workshop. Police1.com/Police Training. Lexipol Media Group.
