By Mike Pingree
The Boston Herald
A man in Winder, Ga., called 911 to report that he was invisible, then asked for a ride to the hospital so he could ‘get more medications,’ because he had taken all the ‘medications’ he had been given the night before. The dispatcher advised him to ease up on the pills and not to call 911 unless he had an emergency.
IF I CAN’T COME IN, I’LL MAKE HIM COME OUT ... Convinced that his girlfriend was cheating on him, a 36-year-old man went to her Dawson, Pa., apartment to see if she had another man in there. She refused to let him in. So he reported there was a gas leak in her building in hopes that the place would be evacuated and her paramour would have to come outside. Police arrived, spoke to the girlfriend and soon figured out it was a hoax.
OK, ABORT MISSION - REPEAT, ABORT MISSION ... From the police blotter in Steamboat Springs, Colo.: ‘Deputies were called to a report of a suspicious-looking item in a yard. ... Officers investigated the item and determined it was a potato.’
OH SURE, SIR, HOP IN ... A man who had no way to get from Port St. Lucie to Hollywood, Fla., told police he had been carjacked, in hopes they would drive him there. They did not. But they did take him to the county lockup.
DON’T YOU THINK YOU HAVE ENOUGH BY NOW? ... Police in Bangkok arrested a 48-year-old man with more than 1,000 pairs of women’s panties in the trunk of his car and 10,000 more in his home. He said he had been stealing ladies undies since he was 18.
WON’T LEAVE, EH!? WELL, WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT ... A man in a trailer park in Titusville, Fla., proved troublesome to his neighbors, throwing eggs and fruit at their trailers, so the landlord evicted him. But the guy refused to leave and locked himself inside. So the landlord hitched the guy’s trailer to a truck, towed him away and left him in an area off Highway 50.
OK, I’M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED HERE ... A man tried to rob a bank in Chamblee, Ga., but left when the teller refused to give up the cash. He returned a short time later to withdraw money from his account because he didn’t have enough for cab fare.
UH, SIR, I HOPE THIS DOESN’T HURT MY CHANCES ... A man driving at a high rate of speed to a job interview, cut off a vehicle as he passed and flipped his middle finger to the other driver. He arrived at his appointment and found that the other driver was the guy who was going to interview him for the job.
OH, BUT IT CAN, MY DEAR ... A young woman was arrested for drunken driving shortly after midnight in Reading, Pa. A day later, at 2:30 the next morning, she was arrested for drunken driving again by the same cop. When he pulled her over the second time, she moaned, ‘This can’t happen again.’
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