Should officers share body camera video with their children?
Whether you were injured on duty, shot, forced to use deadly force, or involved in a critical incident like the death of another officer, dashcam and body-worn camera (BWC) footage may eventually be released to the media or posted online.
Your kids have access to the internet. You can regulate their online activity at home, but not at school or at a friend’s house.
You don’t want to traumatize your child or cause anxiety about the dangers of your job. But if you’re home on administrative leave, not going to work, your kids will know something is up.
So what’s a police officer parent to do?
In the age of social media, if your kids don’t hear what happened from you, chances are they’ll hear about it from friends, other family members, or even teachers.
Former SWAT officer Keegan Merritt’s kids learned he’d been shot from friends before his wife had a chance to tell them. “Before you clear a scene and can phone or text, your wife and family hears about it over social media.”
Do you tell your child that video exists or wait for them to ask to see the footage?
If you don’t allow your kids to watch the video, they may wonder what you are hiding and if what you did was wrong.
Tim Rutledge, a retired Mississippi State narcotics officer who teaches for the Law Enforcement Alliance for Peer Support (LEAPS), encourages officers to be open with their children. “The truth is always the right answer. Have a candid G-rated conversation as soon as possible. Kids need an explanation of what happened from the person who was there. What they imagine will generally be worse than what actually happened.”
Dr. Adam Pasciak medically retired from law enforcement after being shot in the line of duty. He went on to earn a Ph.D. in psychology and established a clinical practice. Pasciak compares the share or not share the video question to a child asking where babies come from. As a parent, you don’t want to give an inquisitive child more information than they are ready to understand or want to know.
Dr. Jennifer Sellers agrees. A former Texas police officer, Sellers now works as a clinician and maintains her peace officer license as a reserve officer. If your child wants to see the video, she advises first asking what they are curious about and what they expect to see.
Provide a synopsis of what happened and warn your child about what the video contains. Explain that what they see in the video may be frightening or confusing. Then ask: Do you still want to see the video?
Parents should consider the child’s emotional and cognitive maturity. For younger children, consider how well the child can identify and understand emotions. Can the child recognize something as scary? Do they understand what it means to be afraid? Would seeing the video overwhelm your child’s ability to cope?
Monitor the child’s reactions and feelings
Merritt medically retired due to his injuries and now serves as a member of the Georgia Department of Public Safety peer support team. BWC footage from his shooting appeared on the television series “Body Cam.”
Merritt advises officers to share video footage with their children and to watch the video together as a family. He recommends pausing along the way to talk about feelings and reactions. Tell your kids how you felt at the time of the incident and how you feel now. Give your spouses an opportunity to explain how they felt after learning what happened and after viewing the footage. Ask your children how they feel. If they are doing OK, continue watching, then pause again to talk. Merritt says to tell the child, “If they become uncomfortable, you’ll turn the video off immediately.”
A parent might consider physically blocking out graphic images or muting the audio during disturbing portions of the video footage.
Rutledge agrees that officers should explain their own feelings to the child. “That will give the child permission to feel, too.”
Pay attention to how your child responds to what they see. Ask your child what they think about what they viewed and what happened. This gives you an opportunity to address questions or misunderstandings about what they saw.
Rutledge cautions that signs of a traumatic reaction to watching the video may not surface until months or a year later. He advises parents to watch out for changes such as declining grades, your kids abruptly changing the friends they hang around with, or changes in your kids’ behavior.
In younger children, distress usually shows up through play and artwork, or may involve a return to earlier behaviors such as thumb-sucking or becoming unusually clingy.
Explain that video clips of the incident that your child encounters on television or social media may be edited, lack important context, be distorted, not tell the true story, and in some cases, include conflicting accounts of what really happened.
Explaining what happened to younger children
Again, honesty matters. In an age-appropriate manner, explain the circumstances surrounding what happened. Kids of cops know their parent’s job is different from other jobs.
With younger children, Sellers recommends asking questions. What do you think I do at work? What does a police officer do when protecting people? She suggests telling children, “To keep people safe, sometimes I have to do things I don’t want to do.”
Most children understand concepts of heroes and villains through stories, television, and movies. Ask what they think a hero does. Do heroes sometimes have to do things that are really hard? Explain that real-life incidents are more complicated, why you responded as you did, what you perceived at the time, and why you believed your actions were necessary.
Prepare your kids before the incident occurs
For younger children, Sellers suggests reading books about police and public service jobs or creating one of your own. She says, “Create a story together about what the parent does for a living. This will allow the child to use their creativity and imagination.”
For older children, consider reviewing police videos together to help them better understand the realities of the job, including situations in which officers make difficult decisions or mistakes. Talk about what they see and encourage them to ask questions. These conversations can help prepare children to think critically about all videos, news coverage, and commentary they encounter online.
What can departments do?
More and more departments are adopting policies that allow a suspect’s family the opportunity to view video footage before it is released to the media and the public. Similar consideration should be given to the families of officers involved in critical incidents. Officers should be given an opportunity to prepare their families before footage is released publicly.
Departments should have policies and procedures in place for immediate notification of family members after an officer is involved in any critical incident.
When permitted by law and department policy, agencies should consider how the timing and manner of identifying an officer may affect the officer’s family. These considerations can help protect the safety of the officer and protect the officer’s family and children from unwanted attention or emotional distress.
Many departments, when releasing video footage per disclosure policies, blur out the officers’ faces and only refer to the officers by numbers, i.e. Officer 1, 2, etc.
No child of an officer should have to contend with another kid on the playground pointing a finger at them and yelling, “Your Dad/Mom killed someone.” Or, the humiliation of being likewise targeted on social media.
Let’s protect officer’s innocent kids from this type of harm, harassment and abuse.
Officers’ children deserve to know and understand the truth. And hear it from their parent, not on the playground or through social media applications and platforms.
Copyright©2026 Barbara A. Schwartz, All Rights Reserved.
No part of this article may be reproduced in any manner without the expressed written consent of the author.
How do you talk with your children about the realities of police work? Share below.
| WATCH: What kids see when cops come home: Inside a police family’s world
