22 things that happen only to cops
#10. You carry two wallets and see nothing unusual about this
I don’t know that all of these things happen only to cops, but people in other professions would be unlikely to experience the set. Add your suggestions in the comment box below.
- You use handcuffs regularly, and not for recreation.
- Ammunition and body armor purchases are tax-deductible.
- You know how long you need to work until you retire, down to the day. In the year or so pending retirement, to the hour and minute.
- You can discuss catastrophic traumatic injuries, decapitations and gunshot wounds over a meal with colleagues and not regard the topic as the least bit unusual.
- You can identify recreational drugs used in your area by appearance and packaging with better than 95% accuracy.
- Your only wardrobe choices for work are long sleeve vs. short sleeve.
- You know the working hours of every fast food joint and coffee shop in your town, and what menu items are not available at night.
- Before planning a vacation, you have to clear your schedule with district and city attorneys.
- Your off-duty wardrobe Is selected for how well your gun will be concealed.
- You carry two wallets and see nothing unusual about this.
- Non-cop friends (and there aren’t all that many) always mention your profession when introducing you.
- If called on to spell something out loud, your reflex is to use phonetics (Adam, Boy, Charles, etc.).
- You are uncomfortable sitting in a room with your back to the door.
- Your personal keyring includes a handcuff key.
- You occasionally change clothes in your garage because you don’t want to expose your family to what may be on them.
- You’ve been in a funeral procession that was several miles long and never met the person who died.
- When you watch TV shows and movies about cops, you pay more attention to the technical errors than the plot.
- You have a drawer full of dark blue or black socks.
- You have another drawer full of holsters.
- The linings of your suit and/or sport coats are torn up from rubbing on your gun.
- Venues for a night on the town are selected in part for the likelihood of running into people you have arrested or are going to.
- The word “basketweave” conjures up mental photos of leather goods, not ornamental baskets.