Women in policing are masters of multitasking. We juggle the job, family, expectations, shift work and, let’s be real, everything else that gets thrown our way. We thrive under pressure because we have to, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Sometimes we’re running on grit, caffeine and the occasional slice of cold pizza in the patrol car.
This isn’t another “stay strong” pep talk. This is the straight truth from women who have been in the trenches, navigated the chaos and learned how to protect their mental and physical health without losing themselves in the process.
We’re talking about burnout, boundaries, pregnancy, menopause, the pressure to be “on” all the time, and the very real challenge of balancing life on and off duty.
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Resilience in real life
Resilience gets thrown around like a buzzword in law enforcement training, but it’s not just a motivational poster. It’s what you do in the middle of the night when you’re exhausted, running on bad coffee, little sleep and the calls for service won’t stop.
For Sergeant Jennifer DeCaro, resilience means “being able to let go of whatever bothered me or caused me stress during the day so that I can move on to other things.”
Captain Jolie Macias with the Newark (California) Police Department agrees but adds a tactical layer: “To me, resilience in daily life means facing uncomfortable circumstances and being okay with it. The more I’ve put myself in situations that require difficult conversations, critical decisions or intense physical training, the more confidence I’ve built in my ability to manage a range of stressors. Resilience is about the willingness to confront challenges head-on while staying grounded in caring for both your teams and yourself throughout the process.”
Both women point to one truth: resilience is built over time. You don’t wake up one day and have it — you earn it in every tough call, every night you bounce back from a setback and every time you remind yourself why you started this career in the first place.
This article is from “Forge your future: A career guide for women in policing,” which offers real stories, actionable strategies and tools to help you grow and lead with purpose. Download your free copy, sponsored by the University of San Diego Online, by completing the “Get Access to this Police1 Resource” box on this page!
Burnout: Catch it early or pay the price
Burnout is sneaky. It starts as low-level exhaustion and irritability, then grows into cynicism, detachment and the kind of fatigue that doesn’t go away after a good night’s sleep.
DeCaro recalls that during her career, burnout was always present: “Burnout has been a near constant companion of mine for decades. Unfortunately, my family taught me that working hard all the time, and not ‘wasting’ time with self-care and personal pursuits, was the only way I could bring value to the world. Policing eats up people like me because the job takes, and takes, and never gives back enough to replenish what it took. What began as burnout resulted in chronic illness, hospitalizations and an ongoing struggle to achieve wellness. I have had to steadily practice the self-care and the moderation skills I have learned in the past few years to heal my nervous system, my body and my spirit. I now know that self-care is an ongoing necessity and that burnout is a symptom that you are not caring for yourself appropriately, not a badge of honor for overworking.”
Macias hasn’t experienced significant burnout, and she credits that to being proactive: “While I have been fortunate not to experience significant burnout during my career, I recognize how challenging this profession can be. I attribute this to working in a supportive environment and prioritizing self-care, including taking time off when needed to recharge. Staying motivated has also been helped by maintaining a healthy work-life balance and engaging in activities outside of work that bring me joy and resilience. I remain mindful of the signs of burnout and am committed to addressing them proactively if they ever arise.”
The shift work balancing act
Balancing shift work, family life and personal health feels like a never-ending game of Tetris. One wrong move and everything topples.
Macias is blunt about the reality: “To find balance amid the competing demands of life, I have to stay as organized as possible with my schedule even as the priorities of a police department are constantly shifting. Each commitment requires dedicated time and attention. There are days when I’m exhausted after a long, demanding shift, but I also recognize that my family needs my love and presence. It’s a continual process of rebalancing.”
For DeCaro, it’s about keeping a schedule and boundaries: “I have to make a daily schedule for myself that includes mindfulness breaks, yoga and stretching, meals and sleep.
Who needs to plan all of that, you might ask? Cops! It has been my experience that police officers are treated like machines with an endless source of work when that simply is not possible. The only possible result of that perspective is burnout, illness and possibly death. I found that the best way to combat the expectation of endless commitment to the job was to set strong boundaries regarding where I put my focus at any given point during the day.”
Pregnancy, maternity reassignment and stigma
Let’s address something that still carries unnecessary stigma in some corners of the profession: pregnancy and maternity reassignment.
Departments often do a good job, but forward-thinking agencies are starting to do better. Macias shares an example from her own department: “A meaningful improvement came a few years ago with the addition of a dedicated lactation room — an essential resource not only for officers, but also for dispatchers and support staff returning to work after childbirth. The space includes a refrigerator, sink and comfortable seating, which is a significant upgrade from the cold locker room bench I once used after returning to patrol.”
This kind of accommodation sends a clear message: your agency values you as both an officer and a human being.
| RELATED: ‘How do you do it?’ Addressing the mother-cop dilemma
Menopause on the job: The unspoken stress test
Here’s a topic almost no one talks about in law enforcement wellness training: menopause. But it’s real, it’s exhausting and it can hit in the middle of the most demanding years of your career.
Hot flashes under a ballistic vest. Mood swings colliding with 12-hour shifts. Sleep disruption that makes you feel like you’re working nights even when you’re not.
I went through it while working on the road, and there were days I was sure my hormones were actively conspiring against me. This is why departments — and we as women — need to normalize the conversation. Just like with pregnancy, silence creates stigma.
Practical tips for surviving it in uniform:
- Carry extra uniform shirts if hot flashes make you feel like you’ve run a marathon
- Have hydration and quick snacks on hand to help stabilize mood and energy
- Talk to your doctor about options — there’s no prize for suffering in silence
- Build a network of other women in the department who get it
Mental health and peer support
Peer support is a cornerstone of wellness. Whether it’s a formal Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) team or informal check-ins with trusted colleagues, the key is connection.
Macias describes her department’s proactive approach: “Many of the wellness improvements I’d like to see across public safety culture are already being embraced by my department. We’ve implemented an on-duty workout policy supported by a well-equipped onsite gym that includes a sauna and cold plunge. A dedicated sleep room is available for employees to use as needed, and our critical incident stress management program includes both a peer support team and contracted public safety psychological services. We’ve also incorporated training on financial wellness and career resiliency resources that are extended to employees’ family members as well. These initiatives represent the kind of proactive, holistic wellness culture I believe should be standard across all law enforcement agencies.”
This article is from “Forge your future: A career guide for women in policing,” which offers real stories, actionable strategies and tools to help you grow and lead with purpose. Download your free copy, sponsored by the University of San Diego Online, by completing the “Get Access to this Police1 Resource” box on this page!
