After a few years in police work, you start to realize there are certain truths evident inside of police work that other occupations are blissfully unaware of. These are some of those.
1. When you sit down to eat a meal, the odds of you finishing said meal is next to zero.
2. If you’ve ever uttered the words, “If I have to come back here, someone is going to jail,” then you’ve had to go back there and make good on the promise.
3. When your team goes to breakfast and you are unable to attend because you just caught a detail in your beat, a kind-hearted mystery person will pay the bill.
4. When your team goes to breakfast and you are able to attend, the mystery person will not be there. Pay up, buttercup.
5. When you are 30 minutes away from the end of your last shift before vacation, you will get dispatched to a call.
6. When you get dispatched to that call, your partners or the oncoming shift will let you get halfway to the location before advising they’ll handle...just to screw with you.
7. When the “Missing Child” call comes in, you will wonder how a parent on a bike ride with their kids loses the aforementioned kids for 45 minutes. That same parent will miraculously find them 30 seconds after you get dispatched.
8. When the “Missing Child” call comes in and the frantic parent swears they checked the house and little Johnny is nowhere to be found, you will find little Johnny under his bed playing a killer game of Hide-and-Go-Seek. Little Johnny wins that game.
9. When a driver on a car stop pays you a compliment about your professionalism, your camera/body mic won’t work and the driver won’t call your supervisor to commend you.
10. When a driver on a car stop thinks you’re being a snarky asshole and thinks you wished him a “Merry Christmas” in June, he will complain to your supervisor, the lieutenant, and the chief. You know you did no such thing, but when you hear the recording, if you aren’t paying attention that’s exactly what it sounds like.
11. When a citizen complains about people driving down their street at “65 mile per hour(!)”, you will only see four cars in 20 minutes. The fastest will be traveling at 32 miles per hour.
12. When you stop someone for a moving violation, they will complain about “all the other people” violating the same law and ask you why you didn’t stop those people!
