By Tiana Banuelos
The last car has left your driveway. It’s been a few days since your shift partners took you out to “take your mind off things.” The suspect is no longer a threat, and a future court date is set. You have just been through a critical incident and survived the wave of phone calls, texts, reports and administrative tasks that followed.
Many departments have policies and procedures for critical incidents. You may have glanced over them during onboarding as a trainee while juggling a firehose of information. Some departments may include a training block during an in-service training day where policies and procedures are explained, yet in most departments little is mentioned about the “after.”
After the critical incident is where the real work begins, as thoughts, feelings and memories of what just occurred begin to swirl. You’ve just experienced one of the most critical incidents of your career and are left to deal with the aftermath you weren’t trained for. What should you expect after the expected portion of this journey?
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Expect to be overwhelmed
In the days immediately following the critical incident, you may be contacted by multiple friends, family members and maybe even command staff checking in on you. Peer support may reach out, and you might begin to feel overwhelmed by the amount of contact.
However, expect the inflow to shift quickly from chaos to idle. Contact and check-ins may begin to taper off in the following weeks as things calm down and people return to their routines. Feelings of being overwhelmed can quickly turn into feelings of being alone, and the sudden silence can feel like abandonment.
Expect to feel isolated
In many critical incidents, officers are interviewed or asked to write reports of their actions. They may be assigned another officer to stay with them while administrative tasks are completed, yet even then it may feel isolating, as officers feel more “watched” than cared for.
Officers are often told that while the investigation continues, they may not speak to anyone about the incident. While we normally debrief calls with our peers, this incident is different, and we are cut off from our normal processes. We become the suspect, victim and witness all in one incident, with each role opposing the other.
Expect to question your actions
It’s normal, and even healthy, for officers to debrief calls. We often do it to be better prepared for the next call. Yet without the benefit of input from fellow officers, we are left with one of the worst possible critics: ourselves.
Our inner judge never adjourns, and we can begin to second-guess our tactics, decisions and even our justification.
Expect to feel out of your routine
We often lean on the rhythm of a reliable shift work schedule and plan our personal lives accordingly. When that is taken away, you can feel jolted out of your norm. Suddenly, an immense amount of free time is thrust upon you.
House projects and binge-watching shows only last so long. One officer told me, “I had 9 months off and I ran out of things to do. I felt empty.”
Many officers do not expect to have this amount of free time or to be removed from a demanding routine that has given them comfort. This may also impact you physically, as your sleep schedule waxes and wanes due to stress and disruption. The loss of routine can also highlight intrusive thoughts and unhelpful rumination about the incident if left unchecked.
Expect a bleed-through
Through all of this, officers are encouraged to take a step back and look at the multi-system impact that critical incidents can have on their lives. These incidents can begin to impact officers physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
They may notice changes in their home lives or in their interactions with the world around them. Just as the job asks for sacrifices from officers and their families, so do critical incidents.
If you give a mouse a cookie, they’re going to want a glass of milk. If you give an officer a critical incident, they’re going to want to feel normal again. When you feel out of your norm, you must control how you choose to move forward. Part of this forward momentum includes the choice of post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth explained
In law enforcement, the concept of post-traumatic stress (PTS) is an ever-increasing topic, as the number of officers dying by suicide approaches the number of those who die in the line of duty. [1] While PTS and the events that contribute to it are not to be ignored, what is often missed is the forward momentum of post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is seen after a significant critical life event in which individuals decide to make meaning from the event and improve their lives because of it. PTG suggests individuals who have experienced significant and potentially traumatic events can see positive growth in their lives post-incident. [2]
PTG does not come from the critical incident itself, but rather the struggle that follows. PTG is built, not simply earned. It’s developed through the decisions, processing and life changes we make afterward.
Law enforcement officers tend to thrive on step-by-step checklists because they remove gray areas. However, PTG is not linear. Growth should be thought of more as a positive — if not chaotic — cycle of thoughts and emotions rather than a straight path.
Amid processing, officers struggling with unhelpful thoughts, feelings and emotions is normal. In fact, that can be a healthy and natural part of the PTG process. Conversely, it is also okay to feel okay. Growth and distress can occur at the same time.
One officer told me, “I was impacted by the lack of impact my OIS made on my life. I wondered if it was ok that I was OK.”
It is important for officers to recognize how transient emotions can be, and that each individual processes in their own way. Your partner who responded to the same call and was shoulder-to-shoulder with you may seem to struggle less because their process does not look like yours. That does not mean you’re processing incorrectly — we all process in different ways and at different rates.
Why post-traumatic growth is important
The goal of PTG is not to return to your baseline before the critical incident occurred. Instead, the goal is to develop a new baseline — one that reflects a healthier perspective of what occurred and who you are now.
We don’t always get to decide what calls we go on, who we talk to or what we experience in this job. Critical incidents can leave individuals feeling confused and helpless. It’s important to focus on what we can control and how we influence outcomes in the aftermath.
What we can do to prepare
The standing philosophy for resilience practices is to “pre-hab before you need to rehab.” Post-traumatic growth is a combination of actions and behaviors, as well as the decision to reframe events.
Having a job as a first responder alone does not make someone immediately resilient, nor does it make PTG easy. Resilience is grown, not given. It is the responsibility of each officer to critically assess their lives and wellness practices and identify where they can cultivate an environment for growth.
Turning insight into action brings us to the real question: How do we do this?
Build healthy routines
Find a routine with healthy habits and continue to invest in who you are as an individual, not just as a law enforcement officer. Stay active and maintain a healthy work-life balance outside of the job.
Law enforcement requires sacrifice for individuals and their families. However, it is important to remember this is only one element of who you are and not to sacrifice your physical and mental well-being.
Train your skills and mind
Be confident in your skill set. Continue to train, study and mentally rehearse the “what ifs” that could arise on any call. Learn and debrief from those around you to build confidence and improve where needed.
While developing your tactics and skills, remember that mindset is a critical component of PTG. Uncertainty may always exist, but how we choose to view situations can shape our growth.
One sergeant stated, “He made a choice and I was the consequence.” This reframes a critical incident from “this happened to me” to “I responded to this.”
Take time to understand who you are — your values, motivations and strengths. “You suffer a premature death when you lose your sense of worth.”
Stay connected
Trauma is unavoidable. Suffering in silence is not.
To stay connected, don’t rely solely on others to reach out. Take initiative and reach out to those you care about. The amount of support you experience is influenced by both your willingness to receive it and your effort to maintain it.
Normalize mental health
The mind will not go where the brain has not been.
Even with healthy practices, officers may still struggle with unhelpful thoughts. If mental processing is avoided, individuals may begin to feel stuck. The unpaid bill comes due at some point, and unresolved mental health challenges can have serious consequences.
It is encouraged that officers begin mental health practices early. When these practices become routine, seeking help after a critical incident feels like a continuation of care rather than something unfamiliar.
Conclusion
There is no finish line for PTG. It is something officers may revisit over time as they continue to grow.
The reality is trauma changes you. Returning to how things were is not realistic. Individuals who experience PTG often report higher levels of functioning and life satisfaction than before the critical incident or traumatic event [3]. As officers, our responsibility is to focus on what we can control.
PTG is not about becoming immune to the effects of critical incidents. These experiences shape us — but we decide what they shape us into.
References
1. Federal Bureau of Investigation. (November 15, 2024). Law enforcement suicides. FBI News.
2. Collier, L. (November 1, 2016). Growth after trauma. Monitor on Psychology, 47(10).
3. Henson C, Truchot D, Canevello A. (2021). What promotes post traumatic growth? A systematic review. European Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 5(4), 100195.
About the author
Tiana Bañuelos has been a police officer since 2021, and serves on the Longmont Police Department’s patrol division working directly with her community in high-pressure, rapidly evolving situations. She holds a degree in Human Development and Family Studies and brings a background in emergency medical training to her work in the field.
In addition to her law enforcement role, she is pursuing a master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, driven by a commitment to better understand and address the mental health challenges faced by both the public and first responders. She is a recipient of her department’s Distinguished Service Medal and a member of her department’s Peer Support Team where she works alongside fellow officers to navigate the realities of stress, trauma, and resilience in policing. Her professional interest center on officer wellness and strengthening the connection between policing and mental health.
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